50 Dirty Riddles with Answers for a Fun Game Night

Get ready for some playful misdirection! Dirty Riddles with Answers are brain teasers designed to trick your mind into thinking they are suggestive, only to reveal a surprisingly innocent and often hilarious solution. These riddles are perfect for parties or casual gatherings, relying on your own cheeky imagination to lead you astray. Prepare to laugh at yourself and the clever wordplay that makes these puzzles a guaranteed source of lighthearted fun.

Best Dirty Riddles with Answers Everyone Secretly Loves (19 Riddles)

1. Riddle: What’s long, hard, and full of seamen? Answer: A submarine
2. Riddle: What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Answer: Chewing gum
3. Riddle: What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Answer: A guy will actually search for a golf ball
4. Riddle: What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy? Answer: Money
5. Riddle: What’s the speed limit of sex? Answer: 68—because at 69 you have to turn around
6. Riddle: What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than swallow? Answer: Toothpaste
7. Riddle: What’s at least six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates? Answer: An electric toothbrush
8. Riddle: What do you call a guy with a giant dick? Answer: Phil
9. Riddle: What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? Answer: You only have to punch information into a computer once
10. Riddle: What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, and works best when jerked? Answer: A seatbelt
11. Riddle: What’s beautiful and natural but gets long and prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly? Answer: Grass
12. Riddle: What’s hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside, and the word starts with “c” and ends with “t”? Answer: A coconut
13. Riddle: What’s pink and hard in the morning? Answer: The morning newspaper
14. Riddle: What’s a four-letter word that starts with “f” and ends with “k” and if you can’t get it you use your hands? Answer: A fork
15. Riddle: What’s most useful when it’s long and hard? Answer: An education
16. Riddle: What’s the best thing to do when a girl is blowing you? Answer: Smile
17. Riddle: What’s 6.9? Answer: A great thing ruined by a period
18. Riddle: What’s long and hard and has “cum” in it? Answer: A cucumber
19. Riddle: What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? Answer: The more you play with it, the harder it gets

Super Naughty Dirty Mind Riddles That Will Shock You (19 Riddles)

1. Riddle: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good. What am I? Answer: A nose
2. Riddle: I’m a four-letter word. I hurt when you stretch me too far. Women love having me in their mouth. What am I? Answer: Gum
3. Riddle: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Answer: One’s a Goodyear, the other’s a very good year
4. Riddle: What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb
5. Riddle: What’s the ultimate rejection? Answer: When you’re naked and she says, “Let’s just be friends”
6. Riddle: What’s soft and slippery and gets bigger when you rub it? Answer: Soap
7. Riddle: What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? Answer: A dictator
8. Riddle: What’s long, hard, and full of DNA? Answer: A chromosome
9. Riddle: What’s the difference between “Ooh!” and “Aah!”? Answer: About three inches
10. Riddle: What’s 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Answer: A tie
11. Riddle: What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair stuck between his teeth? Answer: Gladiator
12. Riddle: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Answer: Liquor in the front and poker in the back
13. Riddle: What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Answer: Snowballs
14. Riddle: What’s the difference between a clit and a pub? Answer: 99% of men can find the pub
15. Riddle: What’s 69 + 69? Answer: Dinner for four
16. Riddle: What did the banana say to the vibrator? Answer: “Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!”
17. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Answer: I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage
18. Riddle: What’s another name for a vagina? Answer: The box a penis comes in
19. Riddle: What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Answer: A hooker can wash her crack and resell it

Funny Dirty Riddles for Adults to Tell at Parties (19 Riddles)

1. Riddle: What’s the difference between a job and a wife? Answer: After five years the job still sucks
2. Riddle: What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? Answer: A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it
3. Riddle: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Answer: Lick-a-lot-a-pus
4. Riddle: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Answer: Beef strokin’ off
5. Riddle: What do you call a 12-pack of condoms? Answer: A party pack
6. Riddle: What’s the difference between a penis and a paycheck? Answer: You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck
7. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? Answer: The position of the dirtbag
8. Riddle: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Answer: A Quarter Pounder with cheese
9. Riddle: What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? Answer: A tearjerker
10. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Answer: Acne waits until you’re 13 before it comes on your face
11. Riddle: What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge? Answer: A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out
12. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead hooker? Answer: I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage
13. Riddle: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Answer: Virgin mobile
14. Riddle: What’s the difference between a pussy and a cunt? Answer: A pussy is warm and moist, a cunt is the person who owns it
15. Riddle: What do you call a cheap circumcision? Answer: A rip-off
16. Riddle: What do you call an expert fisherman? Answer: A master baiter
17. Riddle: What do you call a guy who masterbaits all day? Answer: Unemployed
18. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Greyhound station and a lobster with breast implants? Answer: One’s a crusty bus station, the other’s a busty crustacean
19. Riddle: What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Answer: Snowballs

Tricky Dirty Riddles That Fool Even the Dirtiest Minds (19 Riddles)

1. Riddle: I’m spread before I’m eaten. What am I? Answer: Butter
2. Riddle: What’s in the middle of a woman? Answer: The letter “o”
3. Riddle: What’s long, hard, and full of seamen? Answer: A submarine
4. Riddle: What’s a three-letter word that starts with gas?
   • • Answer: A car
5. Riddle: What’s pink and stiff in the morning? Answer: A newspaper
6. Riddle: What’s wet inside and hairy on the outside, starts with “c” and ends with “t”? Answer: A coconut
7. Riddle: What’s hard and straight going in, soft and sticky coming out? Answer: Pasta
8. Riddle: What’s long and brown and sticky? Answer: A stick
9. Riddle: What’s big, hard, and has a hole in the tip? Answer: A shovel
10. Riddle: What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? Answer: A computer only needs data punched once
11. Riddle: What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? Answer: One snatches watches, the other watches snatches
12. Riddle: What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Answer: Spit, swallow, and gargle
13. Riddle: What’s the difference between a woman and a beer? Answer: Beer still tastes good after three days
14. Riddle: What’s the difference between a man and a cat? Answer: One is a pussy lover, the other is a pussy
15. Riddle: What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? Answer: 45 minutes
16. Riddle: What’s the difference between a wife and a job? Answer: After 10 years the job still sucks
17. Riddle: What’s the difference between a clitoris and a pub? Answer: 9 out of 10 men can find the pub
18. Riddle: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? Answer: 30 seconds
19. Riddle: What’s the difference between a snow tire and a black man? Answer: A snow tire doesn’t sing when you put chains on it

Short & Quick Dirty Riddles You Can Text Right Now (18 Riddles)

1. Riddle: I’m always hard when I’m blue. What am I? Answer: The letter “B”
2. Riddle: What’s 69 to a cannibal? Answer: A balanced meal
3. Riddle: What’s 6 inches and not getting sucked tonight? Answer: My paycheck
4. Riddle: What’s wet and sticky and comes in pairs? Answer: Socks after the gym
5. Riddle: What’s long and hard and full of seamen? Answer: A submarine
6. Riddle: What’s the difference between a boner and a bonus? Answer: Your wife will always blow your bonus
7. Riddle: What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge? Answer: A fridge doesn’t moan when you put meat in it
8. Riddle: What’s the difference between a clitoris and a cellphone? Answer: Guys always know where their phone is
9. Riddle: What’s the difference between a penis and a paycheck? Answer: You don’t have to beg your mom to blow your paycheck
10. Riddle: What’s the difference between a wife and a job? Answer: After five years the job still sucks
11. Riddle: What’s the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? Answer: The washing machine doesn’t follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it
12. Riddle: What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Answer: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again
13. Riddle: What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Answer: Snowballs
14. Riddle: What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? Answer: About 45 minutes
15. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Answer: I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage
16. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? Answer: A zit waits until you’re 13 before it comes on your face
17. Riddle: What’s the difference between a pussy and a cunt? Answer: A pussy is warm and moist, a cunt is the person who owns it
18. Riddle: What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? Answer: You only have to punch information into a computer once

Extra Filthy Dirty Riddles (Strictly 18+) (19 Riddles)

1. Riddle: What do you call a guy with a small dick? Answer: Just-in
2. Riddle: What do you call a guy with a giant dick? Answer: Phil
3. Riddle: What do you call a 12-pack of condoms? Answer: A party pack
4. Riddle: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Answer: Single
5. Riddle: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates? Answer: A tearjerker
6. Riddle: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Answer: Virgin mobile
7. Riddle: What do you call a cheap circumcision? Answer: A rip-off
8. Riddle: What do you call a 90-year-old man who can still masturbate? Answer: Miracle Whip
9. Riddle: What do you call a guy who masterbaits all day? Answer: Unemployed
10. Riddle: What do you call a guy with a blue dick? Answer: He choked it too much
11. Riddle: What do you call a girl who doesn’t give head? Answer: An Uber—I’ll just have to pay for it
12. Riddle: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Answer: Lick-a-lot-a-pus
13. Riddle: What do you call a guy who loves big girls? Answer: A humanitarian
14. Riddle: What do you call a guy who’s been single too long? Answer: A master of his domain
15. Riddle: What do you call a guy with a 1-inch dick? Answer: “Just the tip”
16. Riddle: What do you call a guy who finishes in 2 seconds? Answer: Speedy Gonzalez
17. Riddle: What do you call a guy who can’t get it up? Answer: A let-down
18. Riddle: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Answer: Bob
19. Riddle: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on a grill? Answer: Frank

Dirty Riddles About Body Parts & Bedroom Activities (19 Riddles)

1. Riddle: What’s the difference between a penis and a bonus? Answer: Your wife will blow your bonus
2. Riddle: What’s the difference between a clitoris and a pub? Answer: Most men can find the pub
3. Riddle: What’s the difference between a pussy and a cunt? Answer: A pussy is warm and moist, a cunt owns it
4. Riddle: What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Answer: A guy will actually look for a golf ball
5. Riddle: What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge? Answer: A fridge doesn’t moan when you put meat in it
6. Riddle: What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? Answer: 45 minutes
7. Riddle: What’s the difference between a wife and a job? Answer: After five years the job still sucks
8. Riddle: What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Answer: Snowballs
9. Riddle: What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Answer: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again
10. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? Answer: A zit waits until you’re 13 before it comes on your face
11. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Answer: I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage
12. Riddle: What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? Answer: A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it
13. Riddle: What’s the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? Answer: The position of the dirtbag
14. Riddle: What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? Answer: You only have to punch information into a computer once
15. Riddle: What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? Answer: One snatches watches, the other watches snatches
16. Riddle: What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Answer: Spit, swallow, gargle
17. Riddle: What’s the difference between a woman and a beer? Answer: Beer still tastes good after three days
18. Riddle: What’s the difference between a man and a cat? Answer: One is a pussy lover, the other is a pussy
19. Riddle: What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? Answer: 30 seconds

Classic Dirty Riddles Everyone Still Whispers (18 Riddles)

1. Riddle: What’s long, hard, and full of seamen? Answer: A submarine
2. Riddle: What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Answer: Chewing gum
3. Riddle: What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and women love it? Answer: Money
4. Riddle: What’s the speed limit of sex? Answer: 68
5. Riddle: What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than swallow? Answer: Toothpaste
6. Riddle: What’s at least six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates? Answer: Electric toothbrush
7. Riddle: What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides into a hole, and works best when jerked? Answer: A seatbelt
8. Riddle: What’s beautiful and natural but gets prickly if not trimmed? Answer: Grass
9. Riddle: What’s hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside? Answer: A coconut
10. Riddle: What’s pink and hard in the morning? Answer: The morning newspaper
11. Riddle: What’s a four-letter word that starts with “f” and ends with “k”? Answer: A fork
12. Riddle: What’s most useful when it’s long and hard? Answer: An education
13. Riddle: What’s 6.9? Answer: A great thing ruined by a period
14. Riddle: What’s long and hard and has “cum” in it? Answer: A cucumber
15. Riddle: What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? Answer: The more you play with it, the harder it gets
16. Riddle: What’s the difference between “Ooh!” and “Aah!”? Answer: About three inches
17. Riddle: What’s the best thing to do when a girl is blowing you? Answer: Smile
18. Riddle: What do you call a guy with a giant dick? Answer: Phil

Conclusion

We trust this collection of Dirty Riddles with Answers has delivered plenty of laughs by expertly navigating the line between naughty and nice! These riddles are a great way to engage your mind while sharing a bit of playful humor with friends. For more daily fun and a wide range of captivating puzzles, be sure to visit our homepage and sharpen your wit with Daily Riddles! Keep your sense of humor active and your mind guessing!